thoughts in chaos

long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to the light. [john milton] the hardest thing to explain is the glaringly evident which everybody has decided not to see. [ayn rand]


October 24, 2005

suicide note*

hello, miss death. please. don't look at me like that. i am a coward, i know. i am a runner, forever doomed to be a god forsaken runner and nothing more. but please, come in. you don't need to stay there. it's cold outside, isn't it? yes, i know it can get colder. the fall has just begun, after all. but please, come in, have a sit, make yourself confortable. coffee? tea? no? okay. we have time, i think? good. let's talk then.
i know what you're thinking. how could i? so young, so bright, so full of life. that's what everyone believed i was. no one saw my dark side. that depressive, melancholic side that wanted to cry all the time. but my voice was gone, and my tears were long dry. and then a silent, cold despair took me over. no one was here to see my fall. no one was here to grab my hand. everyone believed i was fine as i had no reason to be otherwise. i had to be fine.
everybody was obviously wrong.
and here i am, soaked in my own blood, telling you all this nonsense, miss death. the smile in your face tells me i don't really want to die; else i'd have chosen any other way to put an end to myself. perhaps. anyway, there's no one here to save me. only you. quietly waiting for me.
getting up? is it time to go already? oh... right... had no time to say good bye... there's no need. wait, miss death. don't leave me alone here. it's cold inside, isn't it? here, give me your hand. and please, turn off the lights and close the door behind me.
(*just in case, this is pure fiction)

10:54 PM

 

2 Comments:

Blogger André L said...

It´s realy good to deal with death.
Better when it´s pure ficcion.
Abraços

25/10/05 23:20  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

it might just be pure fiction but it's well written.

27/10/05 19:15  

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