graveyard

it's something i've been noticing for quite some time. i screw it all sometimes. it's in my nature, can't really help it at least now. and because i'm no hermit (yet), eventually i get to screw it with someone. the blast always catches who is around me and who's relying on me for something. and eventually, someone caught in the mess i created (or someone affected by it in any way) comes up to bash me for it. it's quite natural, and i can usually deal with it pretty well. if the one bashing is correct, of course, and if what i'm told is said the right way.

because, as we all know, sometimes the way we say things ruins the sense our words would have otherwise. there's no need to make a fuss out of a couple of wine drops over the table.

still, everytime someone "bashes" me up, that someone dies a little inside me. no matter how wrong i am and how wrong that person is. it's a little bit dead. it gets a little bit colder. on and on. same goes for when someone hurts me. if i feel it deeper than my skin level i might forgive it, but i do never forget. and it gets a little more colder. it dies a little more. at the age of 22, i believe i could already start building a graveyard out of this.