uninvited

the trouble is, i'm jealous. i'm fucking jealous. and it freaks me out. it really does. i mean, i'm glad for it, of course. it's what i've always wanted. but not like this. not this way. i never wanted to stand for a whole soddin' world. it was unbearable in the long run. but fuck it, i never wanted to become a pariah. not again. i just wanted to belong. to be a part of something. not to be a bloody shadow that is there just because that's inevitable. just because it is. 

i would most likely say no, but hey, it would be nice if i was asked.