unintended grace

can we feel guilty for something out of our control? we can, of course, but does it make any sense? i mean, it's not anything i can control. i haven't done anything for it - it just happened, in a somewhat random way, and to be honest i can't quite understand why. unintended grace, perhaps? i don't deserve it. i really don't. again, i'm feeling like i did once, when everyone had high expectations about myself, and i couldn't see why - i never could, and i don't think i'll ever be able to.