thoughts in chaos

long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to the light. [john milton] the mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death. [oscar wilde]


April 16, 2008

on jealousy

jealousy is rooted in envy (hello, deadly sin). and yet, i don't think that when we feel jealous - let's say, if our lover has someone really close to him or her, or even a lover -, the problem is not the other. we don't care if the other is more good-looking or smarter. we don't give a damn if the other has more money than we do. hell, we don't even care if the other kisses or even fucks our lover. that's not the point. the other is absolutely irrelevant (even though in the heat of the moment it may not seem that way). what makes us jealous, what we cannot stand is the fact that, within our lover's heart, we're losing importance, we're stepping down towards insignificance. what backstabs us is the notion that we are no longer the sun, but just another cloud in an already clouded sky. the problem is not if our lover loves another - but rather that our lover does no longer loves us.

for in the end, we all want to be unconditionally loved, that's all. unfortunately, not every of us has that chance.

12:36 PM

 

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