where i end and you begin

i believe i've just killed a dream merely by dreaming it. worse: even before it had any chance of unfolding into reality and becoming true. what a shame. it was a very good dream - good enough to warm me up in these cold days. and to make me wonder. it's funny how we get to know people without truly know them. they walk randomly by our life, with no rush but without stopping either; and they leave before we can acknowledge their presence. and then they return, often by pure chance. and we think, we do know so little about them. truly, i know so little about you. to my eyes, you are merely a known face, a friendly one, that i meet in the street now and then; one that i smile to, and one that is always ready to return me that enigmatic smile. but who lies behind that smile? who is hiding behind your freckled face? who is the person whose fire burns behind those ensnaring eyes? i would like to know you, you know? i would really like to see who is the person living behind those fiery eyes, behind the countless freckles. i feel curious now, and how weird can that be? why only now, when i've had - when we've had - more chances than i can count to get to know each other in the last... what, four, five years? quite a long time to know someone, with so little knowledge. a time when we've walked blindfolded by choice (perhaps?), oblivious to whatever happpened around us. too much time, i suppose. after all these years, what do you know? what do i know? you're a complete mistery to me - and most likely, the picture you have of me is the first one you've taken, along with everyone else. one that was never quite true, one that now is rather out of date. how funny would it be now, to sit together somewhere and compare the pictures we've taken with our minds' eyes? heh. to give odds a little push, i said. it might well be all that it takes - won't know it if i won't try it. me and lady luck, though, we aren't exactly friends: she comes and goes as it pleases her, sometimes too early, sometimes too late, but seldom when she's needed (perhaps that's why she's called "luck"). but was it luck that has set us in each other's tracks again? usually i prefer to believe that nothing is ever written, that destiny is merely what we call to the choices that will define our lives. but why you, among so many lost souls? why your smile, and no one else's? what on earth is that supposed to mean? hell, screw it. fate or luck, i'll push it nonetheless, as long as i'm given another shot at it. and even though i can already guess the outcome - it's too damn obvious - it's still worth a shot. sooner or later i'll hit the mark. i have to.