life makes it hard to pull the plug sometimes

not only hard, but impossible sometimes. even if i had done it before, i would have to connect myself back now. some things are unavoidable. can't pull back right now. as a matter of fact, i don't want to. might as well have time for me later.

in the meanwhile - and because there are several plugs to pull, and while some cannot be plugged, others must - i've learned how to kill my own expectations on the side that does not depend of me. classic: me and my big mouth. the funny thing is, that is studied and thorougly documented, if not in scientific essays, at least in those monthly women magazines that we read at least when we wait for our medical appointment in those uncomfortable chairs that every waiting room has. there are subjects that cannot, in any circumstances, come up. period. they are mood killers. you trigger them and bang bang, you might as well pack up your stuff and go home because it's then pointless to stay and wait for something. i should have known, but somehow it just came out, and it reached the point of no return so fast that i didn't even have time to think about it. perhaps it was meant to happen, and what now seems wrong to me was right after all. no matter: right or wrong, it was plain stupid. learn, john, learn. so you won't fall into that again if you hit the jackpot when pushing the odds.