i know it's fiction

but despite my cold appearance i'm quite romantic, and can't help it. i remember the movie control (anton corbjin's biopic of ian curtis), when ian and deborah see each other for the first time. they struggle against each other, their personalities clashing with a quiet violence; but they stared at each other, and in that very moment they knew their lives were bound together, that they could not escape each other, regardless of what could happen. no words were spoken; they would have been useless. i remember as well the first time howard roark and dominique francon saw each other in the fountainhead, ayn rand's masterpiece. they stared at each other in the quarry, she looking at him from above, safe, while he was below, breaking the rock. their eyes met, their gazes struggled against each other, they both fought the most intense battle of wits - and they both surrendered. without a word. they simply knew it (i still don't know how the story ends, as i haven't finished the book yet). but that's what love is all about: not needless words, not silly errands, not happy endings - live itself is a tragedy, the greatest tragedy of mankind perhaps. just a quiet, violent struggle that means no victory or defeat, but a complete surrender of both contendents.

i wish it was just like that in real life.