merciful lies (II)

merciful lies are a matter of sheer survival. social survival. we need to use them so we don't hurt someone's feelings. truth is like a sledgehammer: it's hard and heavy; must be handled with care, and only by someone who knows how to do it. if we lack that skill, then speaking the truth is like taking an elephant to a walk into a crystal shop - it whacks everything on its wake, regardless of the "good intentions" behind. hell is full of good intentions, we all know that. for example, i could have been completely honest with you, and tell you exactly what i was thinking - you were asking for my opinion, after all. and my opinion is, you absolutely suck at it. but telling you this would shatter you, and you - as pretty much everyone i know - wouldn't be able to deal with it. so you would turn at me, with something like "and who the hell do you think you are, you asshole? do you think you are too damned good, isn't it? well guess what, you aren't". something like that. been there, done that. i would still be right, you would still be wrong - and keep sucking at it - and our relationship would be as shattered as you. so i left the truth out, and told you a merciful lie. so you suck at it, and you don't know it - that's your problem, anyway. and i avoided problems to my side. was this selfish? definitely. but survival is a matter of selfishness.