readers' blog: inner sadness
Something happened. She never knew it could. She was so vulnerable then, she had lost herself to this spiralling hole. So dark and it made her feel so dizzy. She had wanted it but then she hadn’t. It was the temptation. You wouldn’t want it if it wasn’t there but seeing as it was you thought nothing was going to happen but it did…
If only life were so easy, she wouldn’t be using metaphors to describe her life; there wasn’t anything left back there. What was, had gone, and was never going to be. Forgetting them was hard and it should have been worth it but somehow it never was.
Not being able to find it had been the hardest thing in her life. Questioning God, was it even there? But she still convinced herself that it was and that she would find it one day. The worrying and the fearing: the dreaded feeling of being so unprotected and lonely. Was anyone even there, to begin with?
She felt so unprotected amongst them, it was a feeling she hated. No one being there for her. Why wasn't anyone there? Wondering made her yearn but for what? She had never yearned for anything, ever. But this was something much more. That empty feeling in her heart she knew she shouldn't be feeling, why was it there? She had matured too quickly and that wasn't right for such a young age. Being mature meant knowing lots of things, and she did know lots of things but it was all too much. One day she was going to give into this temptation that was as black as the devil himself...if only they had yes, would it have been anymore different than now?
Life was precious and so was her heart that felt all the pain of the world. She considered herself as Jesus, but was she really? Or was she a sucker for sadness? Only time would tell the secrets that would reveal themselves in front of her like a flower in blooming. The only difference was that with flowers no matter what, they were always beautiful. But with secrets it was hard, they were so unpredictable...
If only life were so easy, she wouldn’t be using metaphors to describe her life; there wasn’t anything left back there. What was, had gone, and was never going to be. Forgetting them was hard and it should have been worth it but somehow it never was.
Not being able to find it had been the hardest thing in her life. Questioning God, was it even there? But she still convinced herself that it was and that she would find it one day. The worrying and the fearing: the dreaded feeling of being so unprotected and lonely. Was anyone even there, to begin with?
She felt so unprotected amongst them, it was a feeling she hated. No one being there for her. Why wasn't anyone there? Wondering made her yearn but for what? She had never yearned for anything, ever. But this was something much more. That empty feeling in her heart she knew she shouldn't be feeling, why was it there? She had matured too quickly and that wasn't right for such a young age. Being mature meant knowing lots of things, and she did know lots of things but it was all too much. One day she was going to give into this temptation that was as black as the devil himself...if only they had yes, would it have been anymore different than now?
Life was precious and so was her heart that felt all the pain of the world. She considered herself as Jesus, but was she really? Or was she a sucker for sadness? Only time would tell the secrets that would reveal themselves in front of her like a flower in blooming. The only difference was that with flowers no matter what, they were always beautiful. But with secrets it was hard, they were so unpredictable...
special guest star: delerium14
your text was the first pulished here, i believe, that has capital words. not because i was too lazy to edit that, but because somehow i felt such a wonderful text should not be changed in any possible way. again, dear, thank you so much for accepting the challenge - and so quickly!
3 Comments:
:)
thanks sooo much. you have made my day!
x
the pleasure was mine :)
:]
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