metalanguage (2+2=5)

a no-event. something that has no place in time, no time in space. why i still do it? what drives me to go on? a game, playing a game. meant to lose, it doesn't annoy me. it's not even accurate, the word. it destroys me, it kills me a little bit inside every time i move forward or backward. why do i go on? cause and effect. the cause was unexpected, the effect should be out of control. it is obvious though: cooldown. long reach, nothing wrong with that. i'm just convincing myself that two and two makes five. and it could. it really could. fuck me. fuck you. fuck everyone. control. control. sweet talk, go on. pretend. we're always pretending, bloody human beings. and stockpiling ammunition. whether we save it or burn it right away seems to be a matter of personal choice that we illustrate with fancy and often misplaced adjectives. all messed up, all messed up, not getting away with it (no image, thank god!). some things can't be learned. some things can't be known, are never known. imagination is useful after all, even if in the end its sole purpose is to deceive ourselves so we can survive. today, of all the days (when was it anyway?). erased. from time and space and everything, without a trace, just erased. it always means something. oh go and tell the king that the sky is falling in when it's not, maybe not. and in the end, we always walk blindfolded by our own choice. we wouldn't have it any other way.