thoughts in chaos

long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to the light. [john milton] the end is in the beginning and yet we go on. [samuel beckett]


June 21, 2010

Notes from the chaos

Knowing that we fucked up might be the possible atonement, but it's not a good atonement - if such a thing is to exist.

Everyone is constantly changing. The thing is, such changes are usually slow. They take time. But sometimes we do change fast and in unexpected ways, towards unexpected goals. I see that in someone that is dear to me. And I see that in myself - a deep change that I would never thought to be possible, not in my most strange dreams.

There are things though that do not change, as much as we'd like them to.

I still think that it was the greatest opportunity of my life, the most shining smile it ever cast upon me. And I know that I've wasted it. Any other consideration on the subject - the realm of possibilities, the realm of emotions, the pieces that fitted together or broke each other - became redundant when the door was closed.

In the meanwhile, we paint the truth in bright or dark colours, as it suits us better.

11:22 AM

 

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