I'm not quite sure 2010 is the worst year of my life so far, as 2008 provides strong competition. Looking back, in 2008 I've lost the girl I loved back then, I had a declining job and a lot of pressure at home. Plus my grandfather died after months of a long and silent illness, one of my most trusted and beloved friends decided to slam the door in my face, and the only person that year that gave me some hope left to the other side of the world (literally). 2010 was not that dramatic, now that think of it (there's nothing like putting things into perspective). Sure there was a falling job too (there's also a new one, proving once again that there's someone watching over me somewhere up there, at least when it comes to job matters). Surely there was a crumbling relationship, one whose decline and fall wore me out more than everything else before, and has probably changed me irreversibly - to the worst. Surely some people vanished, never to be heard of again. Some innocence regarding friendship was lost as well, as I've learned, once and for all, that we cannot keep the old life as we move into a new one, and some things - some people - are inevitably left behind. 2010 was by far more lonesome and unhealthy (literally) than 2008, but by no means worse. It's hard to be worse than 2008.
Still some good blossomed this year as well. From the perspective of music and literature, it was probably my best year ever. Florence + The Machine, The National, Interpol, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Temper Trap, plus the already classic Radiohead and Arcade Fire, made the soundtrack of the year. When it comes to books, well, it was truly outstanding: Bram Stoker, Ayn Rand, Frank Herbert, Ursula K. Le Guin, Robert A. Heinlein, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, William Gibson, Philip K. Dick - yes, I know, loads of sci-fi, and I've been having one hell of a bang with it. In movies it wasn't so bright, truth be told, but at least I managed to fill some gaps in my film culture by watching Star Wars (the three original movies), The Godfather, Taxi Driver, Paprika, Akira and a few others. Surprisingly enough, it was a good TV year, with series like Firefly, The Walking Dead (my two favourites), House, Lie to Me and Bones. All in all, the year was rather good from the "cultural" perspective, altough my writer's block has prevailed for most of the time. And my best friends are still around, which means that my growing anti-social moods have not yet pushed them away. And no one close died (no, I wouldn't consider Salinger close, although I'm really sorry he died).
So it was not a good year - it was a somewhat crappy one, but not that bad either. I've had worse. Now 2011 is about to start, which for all intents and purposes is a meaningless ocurrence: nothing really changes in our lives because we update the calendary, and even if something does change on that date, it's not because of the date. I'm starting the year as I've done it last year, and the year before that, and the year before that: alone for a moment, regardless of the company I might have around - and I'm sure that, if everything went as planned (yes, this is being automatically posted, it was written some days ago), I'm sure I'll have the finest company possible when 2010 goes bananas. But there is one small moment that is for myself alone, and I don't let that go.