don't try it at home

and no, i'm not referring to the instant messaging application, but to the portal. there are some interesting features on it, but today they featured the most interesting article, about things we, men, should never do when we have a woman with us. allow me to give you some insights:

1. clean your gun: why on earth would someone clean a gun if one has a lady with him? unless it refers to another gun, cleaning a gun gives the lady the right to take it and blow his head off. the head on top of the neck, mind you.

2. check out her assistant, roommate or baby-sitter: forget about it. do it, but make sure neither of them notice. unless, of course, you're bold enough to ask them for a threesome - and if they're bold enough to play along.

3. blow-dry our air: this shouldn't be done by any man in any circumstance. period.

4. forget to carry cash: unless she's a millionaire, of course.

5. flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction: if you do any of these items, you deserve the lady to take the gun from topic 1 and fire at will to your mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction, so it would not even be a goofy appendage.

6. tell us you're going to kiss us. (just get on with it!): she said it all, really. just get on with it.

and the list goes on. check it, it's quite funny.