unrequited pain

the first trial failed because, in the end, i am of little consequence. it failed not because i don't matter, but because i do not matter enough. it as plain and as simple as that.

the second trial's failure, however, thaught me a lesson: do never keep yourself from doing something you'd like to do because of someone; do never keep yourself from doing something you wanted to do just because you are afraid. afraid to open your heart and hit a concrete wall. afraid of wanting something and get a plain "no" as reply. afraid of being denied by someone who was supposed to accept you, to embrace you, to hold you to the end of the world and dawn with you for a bright new day.

together, both trials thaught me something else: in the end, we are always alone; and that while mutual love is joy, unrequited love is pain. the purest form of pain.