thoughts in chaos

long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to the light. [john milton] all life long the same questions, the same answers. [samuel beckett]


June 16, 2008

fed up

i'm tired of people.

in the end it's all about time. more than one year after finishing my studies, i'm left to wonder about the people i've met in my university years - and, inevitably, the people who will remain throughout my life. and the number is so small. three, for sure. one month ago i'd reply five, but one is forever lost and the other is trying her best to make me walk away from her. there will be a couple more, eventually, but no big deal. four years studing in that god damned school, and a maximum of five people have remained. what a crappy score, i tell you.

of course, i'm exlcuding acquaintances. i mean friends, real friends, people who love me and who i love and to whom i'd share everything (or everything that it's possible for us to share). acquaintances are irrelevant here: i might meet them someday while walking down the street, and we say hello, chit-chat a while about the life, remember this funny episode, make that remark about the always bloody weather. and then we both go away, memories of that random meeting fading as we go to our daily job or to our homes. these are good to bring back some memories, and to see how good (or bad) our life has been (forgive me the futility). but friends, real friends, people who will always be with you regardless of the life both embrace, regardless of the distance and the (lack of) communication - how many of those have remained?

three for sure, maybe two more. for four years, probably the most important years of our lives when it comes to meet people. it is so sad.

and yet, it must also be enough.

8:08 PM

 

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try not to quantify - look, instead, to the quality :)Li

17/6/08 16:07  
Blogger João Campos said...

as you can see from my last line there, dear, i was not exactly whining about it... :)

17/6/08 17:35  

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