beyond me, beyond understanding

which makes sense, since now i see that in two and a half years i couldn't see a damn thing, couldn't understand anything. why would it change now, when there is nothing else to change?

still, the approach keeps puzzling me. why do we start something we do not intend to finish? why do we keep hinting at something devoid of any possible meaning? i mean, it does have a meaning, but only we know it - and yet we keep expecting someone else to guess it, as if everyone was some fucking telepath. i don't know about everyone else but me, and i'm damn well sure i ain't no fucking telepath, and i thank god for that. but this to say, i ain't have to guess what it means, if it really means something.

and since we're at it, does it?