coming to terms

it's not like stepping (deep) into contested land, as i did recently, but it won't be something without risk. i know that a lot of things will surface, it's pretty much inevitable that sooner or later the conversation will move towards the old taboo. maybe it is an opportunity for both of us to realise that we know the same, so there's no reason to pick up the words with extra care; or maybe it will be a missed opportunity, and the confirmation that it is impossible for me to come to terms with that time of my life. what it will definitely be is a chance for me to know more, to learn something else about the abyss that lies behind me.