apologies are overrated.

i wish i knew another way to fix it. but i don't. i never did. everytime it happened, i could only do what i've always done: hold on to my pride as long as i can, until the moment i can't hold it anymore and send it all to hell by breaking myself. is it effective? appparently yes, but only apparently. it's actually the worst way of dealing with it all. because right after it, right after the little and destructive silence that follows, everything resumes its course as if nothing had ever happened (but it did, damn it, it did), and everything seems forgiven and forgotten. until next time, that is: one of the sides stockpiles weapons, a whole arsenal of mistakes and misunderstoods ready to be used the lowest way possible; the other, stockpiles resentment that one day will break it for good and send it all to kingdom come with a loud and destructive bang. saw it happening way too many times to forget it.