On enthusiasm, or lack of

One of the reasons why I lack enthusiasm and expectations is the fact that both have been so short-lived of late. Sometimes there's a spark of hope lighting up, a sudden burst of enthusiasm that brings back a smile and makes me, for a moment, wish to go on and pursue it. The first step, however, turns out disastrous, and all the expectations die in that moment. As if one's looking for something and has a sudden glimpse that resembles it, only to rush towards it and realise that it isn't it, that it was something else entirely, something meaningless.