firewall

my daily work consists in writing about technology: computers, racks, blade servers, cooling systems, laptops, services, a-lot-of-things-over-ip (soon sex, i bet), femtocells (whatever that is, couldn't figure it out yet), databases, solutions for everything, security appliances and so on. i have yet to find a firewall for my mind though. kinda need some software to block some pop-ups and adware that my mind spams, with some pictures that make my heart shrink and hurt and shatter again and again. so please: oracle, cisco, symantec, checkpoint, whatever, if you don't mind, work on this. thank you very much.