out of the blue
.... on the other hand, i have despised few people in my life as i despise you. it's funny, isn't it? the theory of chaos revealing itself: change the initial conditions and you'll change an entire chain of events - and if we put this into perspective, by events we could mean feelings or thoughts, for example. and it's funny to think how something apparently so small (though bigger than a butterfly) can make such a difference, can change so many things - events, situations, thoughs and feelings. and everything has changed. we may argue that everything was set in to motion already, that everything was drawing near, that it was all inevitable. it probably was, yes. but still; that little beating of wings changed everything by destroying it all and by leaving nothing alive in its wake.
and now that it's all said and done, we're left to wonder. was it worth the sacrifice? was it worth having a small illusion of freedom in exchange of.... nothing? had we fallen so far that we were no longer worth that much (or that little)? if i was the one to answer, i'd say no without a second thought. sometimes the consequences are too great, sometimes the hurricane is too powerful, and it's better if we kill the butterfly before it starts beating its wings. but that answer is not mine, for i had no part in this play: i was the audience, watching the self-annihilation of a soul up in the stage. so i had no butterfly to kill - all i got was the hurricane. and it came. and it will take a while for it to be over. in the meanwhile, there is sorrow, there is hatred, there is a deep loathing as my imagination is scattered to the four winds during the storm. nothing that i can prevent from happening - i've seen it before, after all. there are good things also, positive things. but those are tied into a knot of tangled wire, and i am unable to untangle them. it rains outside, you know? i'll just leave it be. the tangled wire will eventually get rusted and weathered, finally untying the knot to let it all to be reborn. in the meanwhile, sorrow, hatred and loathing.
and now that it's all said and done, we're left to wonder. was it worth the sacrifice? was it worth having a small illusion of freedom in exchange of.... nothing? had we fallen so far that we were no longer worth that much (or that little)? if i was the one to answer, i'd say no without a second thought. sometimes the consequences are too great, sometimes the hurricane is too powerful, and it's better if we kill the butterfly before it starts beating its wings. but that answer is not mine, for i had no part in this play: i was the audience, watching the self-annihilation of a soul up in the stage. so i had no butterfly to kill - all i got was the hurricane. and it came. and it will take a while for it to be over. in the meanwhile, there is sorrow, there is hatred, there is a deep loathing as my imagination is scattered to the four winds during the storm. nothing that i can prevent from happening - i've seen it before, after all. there are good things also, positive things. but those are tied into a knot of tangled wire, and i am unable to untangle them. it rains outside, you know? i'll just leave it be. the tangled wire will eventually get rusted and weathered, finally untying the knot to let it all to be reborn. in the meanwhile, sorrow, hatred and loathing.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home