thoughts in chaos

long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to the light. [john milton] don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody. [j.d.salinger]


June 21, 2008

paradise lost

1. the city. it's still the same. from the train, at night, the same old lamplights in the distance, a sight long known. and the train station, and the old streets. yes, somethings have changed. some details are now different. but everything is still the same, exactly like i remembered it. and it has been a long, long while since the last time i've been here.

2. people. people, of course, are no longer the same. but i've never known many people around here, so i can't see much difference. of course, now i'm older, and everyone seems a kid, a teenager - while they are exactly as old as i was when i used to come here. with some differences, though: i drank heavily, dressed casually, kept a low profile, listened to linkin park, system of a down and oasis. today's kids drink heavily, dress... funny, keep a high profile pushed by a high-pitched voice, ans listen to linkin park and... tokyo hotel.

3. animals. my friend's turtle is still the same. i'm not sure if it recognizes me; but it surely recognizes my feet. well, at least it still likes to bite them. but now the old turtle is no longer alone - the house and the hideout turned into a sort of personal zoo. and it was fun to grab a snake after so long, and feel it crawling in my skin, around my arm. and even more fun: watch it hunting and eating a little rat. for a moment, i felt inside one of those national geographic documentaries. and for a moment, i felt like i was eight years old again, and nothing had ever changed. and it was nice, it was really nice.

4. friend. there are things meant never to change, never to be worn out, never to be eroded by time and rain and wind. there are things that echo through the silence, that traverse time and space, that last forever. sometimes i forget about it, but half an hour was enough to understand something quite simple: i will never have another friend like him, for a relationship such as the one we both have is unique, and meant to be unique.

5. technology. this computer is freaking me out. i hope you can read this. if you care to read this, of course.

4:07 PM

 

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