i believe i'd have felt more the fall of 2008 if i'd follow the original plan to stay at home alone with books, cigarrettes and alcohol. it was funny to see the look on everyone's faces at midnight, "is this it?" and they only got better in the morning, the question following the past tense: "was that it?"

yes, that was it. boom boom, fireworks that tried to pretend to be the stars missing under the cloudy sky. they failed, of course. and the surprised face of my companions summed it all up: the new year's eve is absolutely meaningless. nothing changes overnight. it's just an excuse - one as good as any other - to get high and drunk. we could all stop pretending that the day - the night, whatever - is anything special. for me, it was a good opportunity to spend some time with friends, and also to spend some time with myself. on that regard, it was quite cool, really.

so far, i've got no projects or decisions for this freshly-started year. the last one was so bad that i dare not plan anything. i'm tired of being disappointed. i'll just wait and see what it will bring me - and what i can make out of it.