thoughts in chaos

long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to the light. [john milton] all life long the same questions, the same answers. [samuel beckett]


January 15, 2011

The game of life

Far too many times I've taken things for granted, which, as you are all well aware of, is the swiftest course towards disappointment. Thus I find it hard nowadays to be sure of things to come: they might, and they might not. When they do depend solely on our own actions or will, we can compromise ourselves in order to reach or accomplish them; shall things go astray, the failure is ours alone to bear. But when they do depend on other's will or resources, how can we be sure? How can we bet, if we know not the odds nor the price to pay? I decided not to play a long time ago, as the memory of that day still haunts me. In a way, I do admire people who still held their belief high, that can so strongly convince themselves that it seems that Fate itself has no choice but to bend before their will; and yet I find my darkest self sometimes wishing for their doom.

9:20 PM

 

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