October 31, 2005
the school's view in that rainy day astonished him. despite the clouds there was light all around. everything was bright, noisy, full of life. "yet it's amazing", he thought, his sad eyes seeking a familiar face in vain, "how can this crowded place feel so empty when she's not around..."
quietly . . .
. . . explodes your love
your insecurity is so soft to me
i can't let you breathe in
we are falling into us
i see you dying in my eyes...
(guano apes)
your insecurity is so soft to me
i can't let you breathe in
we are falling into us
i see you dying in my eyes...
(guano apes)
stairway to heaven
for the first time he was aware of her smile - wide, radiant, pure - as he walked away. and then the ancient walls silently collapsed around them, revealing the truth behind the world - he was standing in the very stairway to heaven, under the deep blue sky, staring at the purest of all angels.
October 29, 2005
October 27, 2005
even the scales
the sky... the sky is fair. it'll always be above everyone's head. no differences.
(dante, in devil may cry)
(dante, in devil may cry)
soft touch
in this gray city of bleak umbrellas, everyone has long forgotten how gentle is the caress of the first drops of rain in a naked face.
ego brain
you see, my pain is real,
watch my world dissolve
and pretend that none of us see the fall.
as i turn to sand
you took me by the hand
and declare that love prevails over all.
(system of a down)
October 26, 2005
spoiled friendship
the oldest excuse to say 'no' when someone fell in love is to say "we're really good friends, and i don't want to spoil that". technically speaking, this is a complete bullshit. yet it does have a point. most people tend to start forgetting about their old friendships when they say 'yes'.
somethings must never be said
she says she's sincere because she always says what comes to her mind. she only forgets that sincerity has nothing to do with saying everything. for there are some things that must never be said.
October 24, 2005
live every day as if it was the last one
no. live every day as if it was the first one. when you are born, you think only in everything you can do. when you are dying, you can't stop thinking about everything you were not able to do. everyone has a quite romantic way to see the end - the utmost meaning of the carpe diem phylosophy. but the end is nothing but the purest and more worthless despair.
suicide note*
hello, miss death. please. don't look at me like that. i am a coward, i know. i am a runner, forever doomed to be a god forsaken runner and nothing more. but please, come in. you don't need to stay there. it's cold outside, isn't it? yes, i know it can get colder. the fall has just begun, after all. but please, come in, have a sit, make yourself confortable. coffee? tea? no? okay. we have time, i think? good. let's talk then.
i know what you're thinking. how could i? so young, so bright, so full of life. that's what everyone believed i was. no one saw my dark side. that depressive, melancholic side that wanted to cry all the time. but my voice was gone, and my tears were long dry. and then a silent, cold despair took me over. no one was here to see my fall. no one was here to grab my hand. everyone believed i was fine as i had no reason to be otherwise. i had to be fine.
everybody was obviously wrong.
and here i am, soaked in my own blood, telling you all this nonsense, miss death. the smile in your face tells me i don't really want to die; else i'd have chosen any other way to put an end to myself. perhaps. anyway, there's no one here to save me. only you. quietly waiting for me.
getting up? is it time to go already? oh... right... had no time to say good bye... there's no need. wait, miss death. don't leave me alone here. it's cold inside, isn't it? here, give me your hand. and please, turn off the lights and close the door behind me.
(*just in case, this is pure fiction)
October 20, 2005
hopeless north
even when you lose everything - directions, objectives, dreams, hope -, your compass keeps pointing to the cold, distant north.
ex love
haley rockwell (sarcastic): "well if it isn't trent 'walking dizz'aster himself.
trent 'trench' aster: "haley. long time no see."
haley (angry): "what are you doing here, trent?"
trench: "well... gee, let me think... i came all the way here just to see your smiling face, baby."
haley (sarcastic): "aww, that's so cute it almost pains me to be the one to inform you that's not gonna happen in this lifetime. so try again."
trench: "all right, fine. be that way. and after all the trouble i went to in bailing out your little brother and bringing him here."
haley: "mason's with you? i should've known. where ever there's trouble the idiot brigade is sure to be together."
trench: "now look here, sister... i didn't come back to this sandbox to get the cold shoulder from the ice queen."
haley (sarcastic): "of course. you expected me to melt into your arms with your charming personality and quick wit."
trench: "that was the idea, yeah"
haley (angry): "well, get a clue. you're a rude, lewd, egotistical male chauvinist pig with a knack to attract the worst trouble like no one else can."
trench (smiling): "what's yer point?"
haley (sarcastic): "my point is that this conversation, as fun as it's been, it's over. you have done your good deed for the year. you can leave now. after all, it's what you do best, isn't it?"
trench: "now look here, missy..." (fade out)
script by eric 'zeuslegion" dieter, the antioch chronicles - episode III, thoughts in chaos, chapter 3: ex-factor.
trent 'trench' aster: "haley. long time no see."
haley (angry): "what are you doing here, trent?"
trench: "well... gee, let me think... i came all the way here just to see your smiling face, baby."
haley (sarcastic): "aww, that's so cute it almost pains me to be the one to inform you that's not gonna happen in this lifetime. so try again."
trench: "all right, fine. be that way. and after all the trouble i went to in bailing out your little brother and bringing him here."
haley: "mason's with you? i should've known. where ever there's trouble the idiot brigade is sure to be together."
trench: "now look here, sister... i didn't come back to this sandbox to get the cold shoulder from the ice queen."
haley (sarcastic): "of course. you expected me to melt into your arms with your charming personality and quick wit."
trench: "that was the idea, yeah"
haley (angry): "well, get a clue. you're a rude, lewd, egotistical male chauvinist pig with a knack to attract the worst trouble like no one else can."
trench (smiling): "what's yer point?"
haley (sarcastic): "my point is that this conversation, as fun as it's been, it's over. you have done your good deed for the year. you can leave now. after all, it's what you do best, isn't it?"
trench: "now look here, missy..." (fade out)
script by eric 'zeuslegion" dieter, the antioch chronicles - episode III, thoughts in chaos, chapter 3: ex-factor.
best friends
you know your best friend is lost not when he forgets your birthday, but when he suddenly doesn't trust you enough to assume that.
champagne supernova
'cuz people believe that they're gonna get away for the summer
'but you and i, we live and die
the world's still spinning around, we don't know why
why, why, why?
(oasis)
'but you and i, we live and die
the world's still spinning around, we don't know why
why, why, why?
(oasis)
October 19, 2005
description
as doubt woke me from my slumber, i called all my friends - in the very middle of the night - and asked them to say the sentence that best described me. after some after-hour strokes of imagination, three late-night insults and a couple of half dreaming "what are you talking about? i was sleeping...", i realised that no sentence would ever - ever - describe me better than i love you.
October 18, 2005
thoughts in chaos - origin
is it possible to feel good just for feeling good?
suddenly you open your eyes and realise they had never been closed in your lifetime. a trance awake, some sort of empiric dellusion. how's that possible? how comes?
beep! wrong question! ask again!
(a silent moment. the world freezes around you. full stop. you can see colours. red and blue. green and yellow. black and white (with several shades of gray). you see faces. sad and happy, tired and full of energy to change the world; angry, yet peaceful. you can see souls. unexpressive, evanescent. pale as the moon. bleak as the light.
yes. as the light. did you think the light was white? or even yellow? just as that lamplight suspended in the ceiling above your head?
anyway. i am still waiting. ask again.
where are we going?
i'm smilling. can you se me smilling? yes? now that's a question. better: that is the question.
yes.
it is indeed possible to feel good for anything but for the feeling itself. about the question... there is an answer. you just have to go on living if you wanna know it.
that's what i'm doing right now. yes, i am here. alive. feeling good? yeah... maybe.
suddenly you open your eyes and realise they had never been closed in your lifetime. a trance awake, some sort of empiric dellusion. how's that possible? how comes?
beep! wrong question! ask again!
(a silent moment. the world freezes around you. full stop. you can see colours. red and blue. green and yellow. black and white (with several shades of gray). you see faces. sad and happy, tired and full of energy to change the world; angry, yet peaceful. you can see souls. unexpressive, evanescent. pale as the moon. bleak as the light.
yes. as the light. did you think the light was white? or even yellow? just as that lamplight suspended in the ceiling above your head?
anyway. i am still waiting. ask again.
where are we going?
i'm smilling. can you se me smilling? yes? now that's a question. better: that is the question.
yes.
it is indeed possible to feel good for anything but for the feeling itself. about the question... there is an answer. you just have to go on living if you wanna know it.
that's what i'm doing right now. yes, i am here. alive. feeling good? yeah... maybe.