June 29, 2007
June 28, 2007
return to innocence
about this thought in chaos,
, someone without a name wrote the following:
Until you screw up once more. It's life, we're allways doing the same old stupid mistakes so... do you really wanna have this new life with new friends knowing you'll screw up?
the funny thing is, it ain't about screwing up. it's about boredom, routine, lack of something new, something that make it worth to get up with the morning sun and face the day. and then comes this wish of evasion, of running away. of waking one morning and seeing no known face, no known place. of walking in the street as if it was the first time you had ever walked in the street. in the end, it's all about the return to innocence, to an innocence forever lost. merely an illusion, you might say. yes. but we need illusions, as long as they give us room to breathe again. without illusions, we'll be killing ourselves endlessly.
and as a matter of fact, we seldom do the same mistakes twice. what happens is, we do new mistakes when we try so hard not to repeat the old ones.
truth or dare?
the truth always comes up. it is merely a matter of time. please remember me to never forget this.
June 27, 2007
it is the perfect definition
declare this an emergency,
come on and spread a sense of urgency!
and pull us through,
and pull us through,
and this is the end, the end.
this is the end
of the world.
and this time we saw a miracle;
come on it's time for something biblical
to pull us through,
and pull us through
and this is the end, the end.
this is the end
of the world.
proclaim eternal victory;
come on and change the course of history
and pull us through,
and pull us through
and this is the end, the end.
this is the end
of the world...
come on and spread a sense of urgency!
and pull us through,
and pull us through,
and this is the end, the end.
this is the end
of the world.
and this time we saw a miracle;
come on it's time for something biblical
to pull us through,
and pull us through
and this is the end, the end.
this is the end
of the world.
proclaim eternal victory;
come on and change the course of history
and pull us through,
and pull us through
and this is the end, the end.
this is the end
of the world...
| muse, apocalypse please, absolution #2 |
June 25, 2007
to nullify
don't ever tell anybody anything. if you do, you start missing everybody.
j.d. salinger, the catcher in the rye
you nullify someone everytime you expose yourself. you have enough confidence, enough.... intimacy to share yourself with someone else. but that's not the way it is supposed to be. if someone is so close to you, that someone would figure it out - at once, by sheer revelation, or step by step, slowing getting close to the revelation that you are. you skip that discovery in a desperate attempt to have someone to reach you, and you're denying that person access to your inner self. that person have never reached you; what you merely did was, you took all the pieces of yourself, spread them over the table and gave'em a shape, assembling the puzzle and therefore revealing the whole picture.
in the end, it is a double bind. the discovery you needed will never happen. the person to whom you exposed your inner puzzle is nullified.
June 24, 2007
restart
there is a recurring dream coming and going now and then. i wake up and find myself in another place - a small flat with simple decoration, a wide bed. a couple of shelves with a fair collection of comics and sf&f books. a clean desk, for a change, and another for my drawings. A small balcony - and beyond, a different city, a foreing land (usually london, don't ask why). from my past, not a single remain. no family, no friends, no one. a brand new restart, whole fresh life out there, with newfound friends and a fair ammount of enemies to get. a simple work, perhaps in a bookshop, enough to pay the rent, the taxes, the cigarrettes and a double black coffee with jack daniels after dinner in the nearby pub.
maybe one day.
maybe one day.
somethings, my dear, shall remain untold
don't ask what's the colour of death. no, it's not white. i know this man, he has lost his seven year old daughter. and he tells me, death is yellow with blue stripes. those were the colours of the little girl's bike, a memento of old he still keeps forsaken, never forgotten, somewhere in the garage.
no, you don't want to know it.
no, you don't want to know it.
[taken from here, my translation]
June 19, 2007
judgement
i know i have screwed up, but if we're told we did something wrong once, we try to do things right - or supposedly right - the next time. still, it seems that every situation is different, and you have to judge it by yourself, and yourself alone. so your judgement, that you think right this time, might well be wrong. again.
fuck it.
June 07, 2007
reverse the tide
not being able to reverse the tide when we finally open our eyes and change our minds is a pain in the ass, i tell ya.
June 05, 2007
space dementia
space dementia in your eyes and
peace will arise
and, tear us apart
and make us mean-ing-less again
peace will arise
and, tear us apart
and make us mean-ing-less again
| muse, space dementia, origin of symmetry #3|
June 04, 2007
secret
it was so obvious that it almost hurts me how have i only realised it now. of course. the reasons you gave me for your denial seemed to somehow lack sense. but now they have it at last. you refused only because accepting it, doing it, would imply the exposure of your little secret. and not merely the exposure by they realising it, by being inevitable, but for being you the one who would have to expose it. it was that or a lie. between those two, you chose to left me behind. for that secret. it's a fair trade.