October 31, 2011
Fly high (2)
Truth be told, one can argue that to fly is simply not to fall (yet), and that landing is nothing but falling under (relative) control.
October 30, 2011
So basically Lady Winter stepped in to kick old Summer's warm ass, so that we could have a proper Autumn. The seasons are not messed up. They just act as a sort of a dysfunctional family, that's all.
Fly high (1)
All flying lessons are, at first, falling lessons, as one must learn how to fall first. Gravity makes it logical, of course, and our first flight happens when we want to fall no more. The usefulness of the falling lessons, however, is not spent once we fly high for the first time. We can conquer the skies, but we must not forget the price of such conquest, of such folly: everyone falls from the skies, a rule without exception.
October 23, 2011
I know all too well what you're doing. I know it all for what it is: an excuse, and nothing more. I'll play along, as I too want to put and end to this charade.
October 22, 2011
So this is the first glimpse of the inevitable shadow. I'm glad to know its shape. In due time I'll know its size, its behavior, its way of thinking, its power. Then I'll know if I'm a match for it when the struggle is upon us, or if I should yield and take the road again.
October 21, 2011
October 20, 2011
Over the course of this blog's six years, I've managed to post, in average, exactly one post per day. This is sheer coincidence, but a funny one at that.
I remember the last time I was there: my presence still lingered, the memories preserved by the tokens of old. Were I to return and surely I'd find everything changed as to no longer know the place. Perhaps the memories were removed from sight and locked away into a box to be forgotten in some dusty attic. It won't come to pass though; I shall never return to that forsaken place, as I shall not look for those memories any more. It's not that they still stir inside of me or hurt me in any way - they haven't for long years now. It is merely a choice, a purely rational choice. There's no need for me to return there, to remember that, to relive in a reverie a life long lost.
October 18, 2011
She liked to watch the ghost shadows. No one ever saw her when she did it - for them, she was just another stranger going on her way somewhere. They were right so far - they only didn't imagine that she saw through them as their dark reflections were trapped in the glass surface, ghost shadows without a body under the cold and pale electric light. She could see shadows half-asleep and shadows fully awake. She could see moody shadows and shadows so light that they would likely shine were it not for the closing darkness of the wall beyond the glass. She could see loneliness, often sadness, seldom happiness, though it did happen sometimes. She could see fear. Of the unknown, of the next unseen shadow. She could see beauty, sometimes so incredible that even the artificial environment, with its pale light and surroundings, could not dim it - if anything, beauty was only enhanced in the shadow ghost, as beauty always is enhanced when one possesses the innocence of believing no one else can see it. She could see ugliness as well, and faces so vile that the shadows' dark visages made them grotesque. She saw everyone alike, and no shadow ever returned the gaze. She often wondered if one day, by chance, she would find a shadow staring back at them from the dark and the glass, and what would it meant.
This blog was created exactly six years ago, after I watched the movie Fight Club at my university's auditorium. I think I've mentioned this here before (I always repeat myself), and truth be told I'm not even sure that there is any connection between the (great) movie and this blog. Still, I've never watched it again. And tonight seems a good night to fix that.
October 13, 2011
It is an old conversation that has come back to me. We were talking, and I told you that I'm usuallyfine as long as the line between being fair and unfair was not crossed. Words unspoken: let that line be our own Rubicon - you can go there, you can even wash your soiled feet on its running waters, but once you cross it there is no way back, alea iacta est and all that. I never told you that, any more than I told you that you crossed the Rubicon at some moment, and it was the point of no return for me. I'm not sure if you did it willingly, but that's beyond me: you did it, and it couldn't be undone. It doesn't quite make our last words an act from my part - it merely meant that you had paid the price in blood and I didn't even have to get my hands dirty in the process.
October 12, 2011
Harsh, but true:
"Magic wishes come from money, Prince Charming’s a shallow idiot with a bad haircut and overpriced clothes. And true love? Ha, true love is one-sided, Ace. You love her, she loves someone else. She loves you, you love someone else. Never quite works out does it? So you end up with some actor pretending to be your true love. Real considerate of someone to let you know reality was like that before being thrown into it. ‘If you wish, it’ll happen.’ Well, wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up faster. Welcome to reality. Enjoy your stay."
Now this is something I'd like to have written myself.
October 11, 2011
Of you, whom I once held in such high regard, nothing is left but a song. A good song, truth be told - I listen to it rather often. Not that I'm brooding over it - I really like it, in the most detached way possible. But it's curious to see how it is possible for someone to walk into our lives out of nowhere, leave considerable mark, and then vanish without a trace. You left a trace though, a good song that I love listening to. It's a shame the friendship couldn't remain alive as well, but I suppose that at this point I should count myself fortunate.
October 10, 2011
I could have found the appeal of a military career, only I never did. Nowadays it would probably be safer - in all ways - than any other, if what I hear from people I know who joined the army is true. But a military career could never be for me. True, my physical shape, or lack of it, would put me into some private hell, but that's not really the problem. Although most of the people I know who followed the military career are far from being the sharpest tools in the box, they can pull some discipline while there - and from the way I see it, discipline is everything in the military. Now more than the physical capability to do push-ups, I do lack any possible form of discipline. Shall my country ever get into a war, I'll probably have to go and be a grunt there - but I don't think I would rate much above grunt were I to be following the orders of some sergeant for God knows how many months in military drills.
October 09, 2011
It's funny - and a little sad, I admit - that I've been regularly blogging for over eight years, and some of the best things I've ever published in a blog cannot be tracked back to me. I was a deal I made with myself, and I intend to stay true to it, even if it means that I have to hold the dirty end of the stick. But sometimes I'd like to point it out and say: I did it, and I know it's brilliant. It is brilliant indeed, even I was surprised with the result. But no one knows it is mine, and I can't tell anyone as I gave my word to myself. I know it sounds silly, but sometimes we have to stand for our principles.
Life imitating art imitating life
Today's movies cannot be compared to the movies of old. Indeed they can't.
October 08, 2011
Quoth the raven (LIII):
Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruistm. But they are more comfortable neighbors than the other sort.
Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
We leave far too many questions unanswered as we make our way through the paths of life. It is often frustrating, but we should truly be thankful for it. We wouldn't survive long were we to possess all the answers.
October 05, 2011
The states of grace always fade away. It is not a question whether it will happen - but of when will it happen. So sooner or later I'll tumble down and walk in the mud just like all the others before me, the good deeds of the past forgotten by the failures of the present in the endless cycle of repitition and trial-and-error.
October 04, 2011
The fact that I cannot bring myself to say it, to name it out loud, to admit it to the sun and wind and rain, shows that some wounds do never truly heal. It's like a conditioned reflex, only the sound of the bells does not make me think of food. It makes me dread the lack of it.
October 02, 2011
What they do not deserve
In many ways (and situations), the best way for us to get our small revenge is to give someone not what they deserve, but just what they don't deserve. If they were mean to us, we treat them kindly. If they were at fault with us, we do not fail them. It might seem silly at a glance, but it actually delivers in two different ways: by showing them (or everyone else) that we are not like them, and by the irony of the situation. And while irony might not win every confrontation, it certainly adds a touch of style.