quoth the raven:

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word,
"Lenore?", This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"
Merely this, and nothing more.

(edgar allan poe, the raven)

guide

q: how to ruin a (supposedly) romantic moment:

a: say "i don'r believe you. that's impossible" when your beloved says that he or she loves you.

q: and how to help ruining a (supposedly) romantic moment:

a: to believe that your beloved doesn't believe. even if he or she doesn't really believe (for what is worth, it doesn't matter).

sloth is doubtlessly my mortal sin, and that, couples with some days of somewhat intense study, kept me away from this space. i'm back now.

when the world is over...

... we may not be beginning. not anymore.

the end is the beginning is the end

the sewers belch me up,
the heavens spit me out,
from ethers tragic i am born again.
and now I'm with you now
inside your world of wow,
to move in desires made of deadly pretends
'till the end times begin...

(smashing pumpkins)

oblivion

i'd really like to know where have i lost my tears. so i could cry in those moments when i feal that my heart has been crossed by a thousand daggers. so i could sat in the ground and cry to oblivion, until my mind was empty and my eyes were dry. but my tears are long lost...

lost like the autumn leaves.

teardrop

the falling rain brings the autumn back to my memory. but it's the end of winter, and this rain is different. the struggle for life is over - what is not dead by now, will be soon, really soon. some things may be reborn later. others won't. the rain is not sweet anymore - it is bitter instead, with a soft scent of sorrow and decay deep within every drop of pouring water. like a teardrop from anyone's eyes.

a walk in the park

from here to the end, it'll be just like a walk in the park, smacking the autumn leaves under my feet with every step i take.

curse

if one day god - any god - wants to cast a curse upon mankind by its sins, he would just have to let human beings know the day when they would die. everything else would fall into despair.

imaginary

in my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
i lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me...

(evanescence)

(what's the story?) morning glory

in both ways, i can't see anymore the beautiful story told in that morning glory.

things may not be o.k.

(...)

neo: what does that mean?

oracle: everything that has a beginning, has an end. i see the end coming. i see the darkness spreading. i see death. (...)

(the matrix revolutions)

inevitability

sometimes we grow tired of everything and everyone. and then we have a sudden feeling that everything is going wrong, and that the way we chosed leads nowhere. sometimes our stronghold of skepticism burns to the very foundations - and we are left alone without protection against the fate that we believe to control everything. that is indeed the greatest proof that fate does not exist at all. in our pessimism, we cannot understand that it were us that set our own castle to burn. or maybe it was someone else who burned it, but we stood still, watching it burn. as if it was an inevitability.

valentine's day is another of those days whose meaning is almost commercial nowadays. like christmas, for example (although i keep no special hatred towards valentine's). love shall be celebrated every day, and not only in the february fourteenth. gifts shall be given to our beloved no matter the day, we just need to feel up to it. anyway, it's a day. so, and despite the loneliness of my bunker here, i wish you all a happy valentine's day:)

live forever

because somedays ago i was feeling like shit. i may be right, terribly right about me: i may be a liar, a failure, an ultimate wannabe. but i may be wrong as well. and who cares?

maybe i don't really want to know
how your garden grows
i just want to fly
lately did you ever feel the pain
in the morning rain
as it soaks it to the bone

maybe i just want to fly
i want to live i don't want to die
maybe i just want to breath
maybe i just don't believe
maybe you're the same as me
we see things they'll never see
you and i are gonna live forever

maybe i don't really want to know
how your garden grows
i just want to fly
lately did you ever feel the pain
in the morning rain
as it soaks it to the bone

maybe i will never be
all the things that i want to be
but now is not the time to cry
now's the time to find out why
i think you're the same as me
we see things they'll never see
you and i are gonna live forever
we're gonna live forever
gonna live forever
live forever
forever

(oasis)

a chronicle from the underworld

"merèdhril was not evil, not in any way", said narayan, staring at the campfire they had lit in the middle of the cave floor. "he was an adventurer, a crusader. all his life is nothing but a sucession of attempts to reach something. most of them were desperate attempts. he was not insane, but lost. he spent all his life wandering, searching for something. and he found that, in the enchanted forest of lómil-gathiel. thing is, the war threatened that; and so, he left in another crusade, that time not for something he wanted, but to save what he had found. and so he was forced to take some reckless steps. when he claimed the sword of anarkaris, he was lost - because he spent so much time searching for something that he forgot the way back. it was not the curse cast upon him by the sword that was his doom. it was his own way to only look ahead, misregarding the past, the path already walked.

always the same

always. for there are somethings that never change. not that they are not meant to be changed. but because we don't want them to change - by commodity, by fear, by illusion. whatever. no matter how much delusions we carry, we know how it's going to end. it never changes anyway.

hello

and suddenly i know i'm not sleeping
hello, i'm still here,
all that's left of yesterday...

(evanescence)

a shot in the dark

worse than our own ghosts, that come from deep inside of us, are the ghosts we don't know. but they are there. watching with blind eyes. hearing with deaf hears. haunting every step we take, clouding every light that comes from above. they are silent, yet they say too much. we can't see them, only feel their shadowy presence. and every time we try to push them back, every time we try to fight them, it's a shot in th dark that misses the mark.

the sweetest thing

sweetness is revealed in the most simple things. n. was so kind and sweet that she had no need to drink coffee with sugar - her lips were more than enough.

inside your shell

you wait and bleed. because even the hardest of the shells eventually cracks, exposing the soft red flesh it used to protect. and sometimes the blow doesn't need to be that strong - it just needs to be unexpected.