bullet with butterfly wings

and here's something really good to hear, despite the harsh times. it can evem make it up if the portuguese team gets defeated tomorrow by the english press. i mean, the english football team:

it's official, the smashing pumpkins are currently writing songs for their upcoming album, their first since 2000. no release date has yet been set, but the band plans to begin recording this summer.

zero

is it possible for a tree with weak roots in a sandy ground to survive the hurricane?

yet maybe this song fits me better tonight

little angel, go away.
come again some other day.
the devil has my ear today,
i'll never hear a word you say.
promised i would find a little solace,
and some piece of mind,
whatever just as long as i don't feel so

desperate and ravenous,
i'm so weak and powerless...
desperate and ravenous,
i'm so weak and powerless
over you...

(a perfect circle)

old

once i was told i was too young to lose my hope. i replied that i was too old to keep my illusions.

last night

last night i dreamt
that somebody loved me
no hope, no harm
just another false alarm.

(the smiths)

trade

someone said that when we have nothing, we might still trade it for something else. what if we do have something else, but no one else wants to trade, or even accept it for nothing?

snowblind

my eyes are blind but i can see
the snow flakes glisten on the tree
the sun no longer sets me free
i feel there's no place freezing me . . .

(system of a down)

lost in translation (III)

never the popular saying "to give with a hand only to take it back with the other" felt so right as today.

now i notice

spring is no more. summer has come with its burning sun. the time of all trials shall begin.

speed kills (the people that we love)

the things we do to the people that we love
the way we break if there's something in the way
destroy the world that we took so long to make

(bush)

Anathema

in times of darkness, old words shall be remembered again. and, perhaps, rewritten.

life's a game. a motherfucking game that we play blindfolded. we learn how to raise and walk only to learn how to fall. we smile. we cry. we rejoice. we suffer. all in vain, for in the end, every one of us will inevitably lose. death will come to take us away with her. there shall be no redemption. no return. only an endless sorrow for all that we leave behind for the eternity.

i know all this, just as i knew it six years ago, when i first wrote it in my english class. a red page on my notebook. i know all this. it's obvious. everything that has a beginning has an end. now, i don't need to remember this in every waking moment. let me live my life with all its troubles; i need no other. i need not to worry about inevitabilities such as death, because there are a lot of things that aren't inevitable to worry about. those can be changed. those may be worth changing.

carpe diem, said the romans. seize the day. do it. help me doing it. don't cast an anathema on me. not before the time.

hammerfall

i let the hammer fall, violently, on the blackened anvil. a promise. it takes a shape, out of the purest pride. and with it this promise shall be forged: you shall never see me cry. never.

an ode to no one (I)

i'm waking up so fast
to see myself staring back at me.
i laugh and ask about,
what was this dream i had?

what am i trying to hide?
let's hear the secret that you keep.
i've been misunderstood
until it all came to me...

it's out there,
the state of blinded grace.
it keeps us
waiting at the door.

where is it?
this phantoms' liberty?
it's hiding
all that we know.

we're pushing back the time
to breathe it
in with a staffled grin.
i know i must admit
some things must go this way.

what am i trying to hide?
let's hear the secret that you keep.
i've been misunderstood
until it all came to me...

it's out there,
the state of blinded grace.
it keeps us
waiting at the door.

where is it?
this phantoms' liberty.
it's hiding
all that we know.

that you know.

(radiohead, innocent civilian)

again, inevitability

someone said "what goes around comes around". intentions just don't matter here. this is so true it hurts.

butterflies and hurricanes

i know that i've not heard every music in the world, but... a whole afternoon hearing these lads makes me wonder if there can be any better.

house party

someone gets a new house and in the first days he or she invites all his friends (and some enemies too, so they can envy the new life) to a party at home. as if the party was the innauguration of the new house. is it just me, or this is plain ridiculous?

*at least my upper floor neighbours' party is ridiculous, for it is denying me my sleep when i finally decided to go to bed before 2.00 a.m..

is sloth stronger than the vice?

the marketing teacher may be right when he states that people would quit smoking if there was only one place in this city where one could buy a pack of cigarrettes (as if lisbon wasn't already a hell). we may then die old and healthy and with our lungs in one piece, but in the end we'd be rounded up in hell for a mortal sin. we burn for falling into the vice or to stay out of it due to sloth. double bind anyone?

six-six-six

with a harsh night of sleep, works of hours saved in the wrong hard disks (which ultimately took us a lot to recover), countless hours waiting for nothing, and a uncomfortable late-night feeling that the weather forecasts for the next days will be rather gray, i can't stop saying that the day of the beast was indeed a bloody one.

words

the constant use of some words can make them seem common, even trivial. sometimes we think that the idea, the feeling, is already said, and we think about stop saying it on and on. yet, the feeling of emptiness that takes us over when we don't hear those words back, like the echo folowing our shout in the mountains, is strangely unbearable.

this goes a bit later, but anyway, here it goes:

congratulations for your graduation, catarina!