thoughts in chaos

long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to the light. [john milton] [life] is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. [shakespeare]


February 23, 2007

darkness and hope

so this is
the exemplar deathstyle
you told me about;
you want my seed in,
is this the treason
i bare the fame from?
my fatal freedom;
the omniswansong.

i carry the news of darkness and hope.

so this is
the underworld
you have in your heart;
you hide in your room.
i´m so sorry to say,
it only makes me laugh.

i carry the news of darkness and hope.

so here i have-your act of love
within the poison-of your every word.
each night you stay in - each night i will have to run
knowing from darkness and hope
there is no return.

i carry the news of darkness and hope.

dedicated to the small great people of saboia, alentejo, portugal.
hang, rope, silver bullet, magic pill, mandrake´s root. the southern deathstyle.


| moonspell, darkness and hope |


so they really took the inspiration for this song in my homeland... and the better part was, it was fernando ribeiro himself who told me this.

2:07 AM 0 comments

 

February 19, 2007

how to make it smoothly

my guess is, we need to take from those very sweet moments all the strenght we can to face the bitter ones when they come.

4:58 AM 0 comments

 

February 07, 2007

this one says it all about us



i know the pieces fit
'cause I watched them fall away.
mildewed and smouldering,
fundamental differing.
pure intention juxtaposed
will set two lovers' souls in motion;
disintegrating as it goes
testing our communication.

the light that feuled our fire then
has a burned a hole between us so
we cannot see to reach an end,
crippling our communication.

i know the pieces fit
'cause I watched them tumble down.
no fault, none to blame;
it doesn't mean i don't desire to
point the finger, blame the other,
watch the temple topple over,
to bring the pieces back together;
rediscover communication.

the poetry
that comes from the squaring off between.
and the circling is worth it,
finding beauty in the dissonance.

there was a time that the pieces fit,
but I watched them fall away.
mildewed and smouldering,
strangled by our coveting.
i've done the math enough to know
the dangers of our second guessing:
doomed to crumble unless we grow,
and strengthen our communication.

cold silence has
a tendency to
atrophy any
sense of compassion
between supposed brothers,
between supposed lovers.

i know the pieces fit
i know the pieces fit
i know the pieces fit
i know the pieces fit
i know the pieces fit
i know the pieces fit
i know the pieces fit
i know the pieces fit

| tool, schism; dedicated to her (read it carefully) |

10:11 PM 1 comments

 

old words are still words

(...) who you are, i know not, even though i might be aware of what defines you, your inner self. i am what i am, a fantastic impossibility of imagination, a fallen angel lost in the ravenous whirlwind of reality, the flesh and bone personification of the moon god nitramneadh, my own creation, whose name i borrowed from someone like me that i have never met. i am truly nitramneadh, the one who died for the love of nifrithe and for the world they conceived with all that love. she is gone, though; i have never seen her. one day, perhaps, i will. no rush. my world knows no time.

|free translation from my old blog|

9:55 PM 0 comments

 

February 06, 2007

stitches

still, a couple of words would be really nice to warm up my cold heart and to ease my already troubled mind. "did it hurt, to remove the stitches?"

it's cold outside, you know?

fear and panic in the air,
i want to be free
from desolation and despair.
and i feel like everything i saw
is being swept away
when I refuse to let you go...

i can't get it right,
get it right,
since i met you...

loneliness, be over...
when will this loneliness be over..?

life will flash before my eyes;
so scattered and lost,
i want to touch the other side.
and no one thinks they are to blame;
why can't we see
that when we bleed we bleed the same?

i can't get it right,
get it right
since i met you...

loneliness be over...
when will this loneliness be over..?

loneliness be over...
when will this loneliness be over..?

| muse, map of the problematique |

8:44 PM 2 comments

 

what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger

maybe all this will work out in the end.

12:45 AM 0 comments

 

February 03, 2007

guilt

go on. keep resting all the guilt upon my shoulders, if it makes you feel better. go on. set yourself free. care not if the burden you forced me to carry tears me apart. i'll eventually pick myself from the ground when it's all said and done.

7:30 PM 0 comments

 

cold water

we may have lived by the flame, but we won't die by the flame. we'll die by cold, deadly water.

7:27 PM 0 comments

 

chaos will always prevail. it is better organized.

thoughts and chaos by

  • john raynes
  • [ jeraynes[at]gmail[dot]com ]

present past:

  • suicide note
  • euphoria and broken glass
  • tear drop
  • requiem for lothorethiel
  • self-inflicted pain
  • the girls we followed home
  • untamed
  • the stand alone friend

guest stars:

  • anonymous
  • delerium14
  • alice
  • shelyra
  • jill
  • virginia

second home:

  • jardim de micróbios
  • viagem a andrómeda

friends:

  • Damn, life, you scary!
  • era um manual de instruções, por favor
  • hoje voltei a ver
  • i'm just killing time
  • lady chatterley
  • tudo e nada

personal favourites:

  • a lei seca
  • aurea mediocritas
  • complexidade e contradição
  • locus amoenus
  • ouriquense
  • postsecret
  • the tugboat complex
  • vontade indómita

early morning laughs:

  • bug comic
  • sinfest
  • xkcd

politically speaking:

  • blasfemias
  • delito de opinião
  • estado sentido
  • o insurgente
  • portugal dos pequeninos
  • 31 da armada

outside world:

  • a forum of ice and fire
  • dead air space

recent chaos:

  • Eulogy
  • Spaceport
  • Lifeless
  • Undertow
  • Smoke and mirrors
  • Mistakes
  • Cast no shadow
  • Love will tear us apart
  • Lady Winter
  • Music doesn't really get any better than this

the past (un)perfect:

  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • September 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • May 2010
  • June 2010
  • July 2010
  • August 2010
  • September 2010
  • October 2010
  • November 2010
  • December 2010
  • January 2011
  • February 2011
  • March 2011
  • April 2011
  • May 2011
  • June 2011
  • July 2011
  • August 2011
  • September 2011
  • October 2011
  • November 2011
  • December 2011
  • January 2012
  • February 2012
  • March 2012
  • April 2012
  • May 2012
  • June 2012
  • July 2012
  • September 2012
  • December 2012

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