For a change,

this year I shall not be bitter towards the christmas here in the blog.

Running waters

I fear the fountain way more than any other place. That secluded stone alley with its running water and its green canopy stands for what I didn't have thr guts to do. It stands for all my fears and broken dreams. Other places might have their meaning and their ghosts, but they haunt me no more. They are powerless and irrelevant, places of a nostalgia that has long since lost their meaning. They couldn't haunt me.

But I still remember the serpent, after all these years.

False modesty

There is quite a difference between false modesty - which is indeed a form of boasting - and realism. Sometimes we're simply not good at doing something - if we happen to acknowledge that weakness, someone will inevitably say that we aren't, that we are quite good actually, that no one would ever think about complaining about it, etc. While it's nice to see so many people going for white lies for our sake, it's also a bit frustrating to think that deep down they know the truth, even if they don't want to gaze back at it.

Blank

I suppose that, when asked, every writer without exception would tell a young wanna-be writer to read a lot. While such advice is true, almost a cliche, it is also a dangerous one. When it comes to my writing, the main difference between now and ten years ago is that I write way better than I did, but I also read a lot - really a lot - more than I used to (than I could, to be fair), which saps my will to write anything beyond this blog. Seriously. It's one hell of an experience to read authors as extraordinary as Tolkien, Clarke, Asimov or Martin, but it's also somewhat frustrating once I face the blank page.

The mistake

So perhaps it was known all along, and all due to a small, stupid mistake that went unnoticed for an incredible ammount of time. If this ain't irony, then I truly don't know what irony is.

The fear

Sometimes I like to think the parallel universe theory true, with our lives unfolding differently as we chose other paths to walk. I like to think that in another unlikely life in another unlikely world we had never felt the fear.