Ash

Euphoria keeps us going until we settle in the new reality. But euphoria is momentary; it runs its course swiftly, and leaves little but ash in its wake.

Tide

Back in the dark days, someone's recklessness turned the tide and provided a breathing spell. But tides ebb and flow, and when we're bound to the sea floor without means of escape, it is always a matter of time before the waves catch up with us.

It ain't personal

This is the equivalent to the old "it's not you, it's me" cliché, only applied to relationships other than love affairs. It also reeks of bullshit. When someone says that "it" ain't personal, you might be sure as hell that it couldn't possibly be more personal.

[for what it's worth, this blog is now optimized for mobile viewing]

Misguided

That was quite a nice outburst, although misdirected. You should know by now that contempt and resentment towards someone who criticizes you is useless: either the critic is off the mark and you can show it by logic, or the critic is spot on and in that case you have little choice but to swallow up your wounded pride and start again. Of course, sometimes it happens that the critic is too far above you, thus rendering any discussion pointless - he or she won't listen. Happens all the time: good ideas being discarded and tossed into the trash bin by the lack of vision of those standing high above. But even when it happens contempt is useless - it is but a poison for the self. Besides, we are always given a choice - we can play by the rules or leave the game entirely. Or compromise between both.

A scaled-down tyrant

I'm not a leader. Not a natural one, I mean - I can lead something when necessary, as I've unwillingly done many times already, in moments of little to no consequence. But a real leader - I simply couldn't handle the responsibility. But above all I don't think I could handle another thing: the necessity to be rough and stubborn and mean. In short, a scaled-down tyrant, as all leaders must be at some point. With very little exceptions, a friendly leader is a short-lived one, as one rules over subjects, underlings - not friends. Never friends. Make a friend with one of your underlings, and your leadership is undermined, despite all the good intentions in this world. Worse yet - act like a leader towards one of your underling-friends, and they won't be able to help taking personally any action you might possibly take. No, a leader cannot be a friend - and I prefer to be a friend in the shadows than a stranger - estranged - under a spotlight.

Stars too far to reach

It is bad enough that chances are thin that I'll ever have the chance of seeing Okkervil River live here in the country. It gets worse by the the fact that it is impossible to find on YouTube a decent video of them playing songs like White Shadow Waltz - which, for all intents and purposes is the best song of the year, period.

Extinction-level event

The person I see now is not the same person I've met many years ago. I know - everybody changes all the time. There is a difference, however, between changing by natural evolution and changing by sudden destruction - and you did not naturally evolve from what you were into what you are now. Or rather, you did naturally evolve into what you are now, but such evolution is so extraordinary and unlikely that it becomes implausible. What happened was not evolution but an extinction-level event, a massive catastrophe that wrecked your old self and brought to life a person bears your face but not everything else that defined you.

Fly high (3)

Now I'm being told to fly, regardless of the mess I've made of the previous attempts. Despite my own limitations. Despite my fear of heights. Despite my will - I never asked to fly, I never wanted it - I find the comforts of the cool safe ground good enough for me. But now I have to fly, and I cannot turn back. Whether I'll catch a breath of wind and fly high or crash into the hardened earth remains yet to be seen.

Not a saint

I wish you no harm. I would probably have grounds to do so, to loathe you deeply, and yet I don't. However, that doesn't mean that I am happy to see you succeed. It doesn't make me sad or angry, mind you - but it doesn't really cheer up my day either. In short: even though you ended up screwing me up, I'm not exactly thinking about payback or karmic justice; I simply don't care whether you succeed or fail. I might not be altogether evil, but don't except to dig a saint out of me.